I took my daughter to the Doctor recently. As we were getting ready to load up, she stopped with urgency. Explaining that she needed to put on her costume and how much the Doctor would love to see it. My initial instinct at that moment would be to control the situation and say:
“No, the costume was just for the concert, and now we just use it at home … ,” or some other mumbo jumbo.
This time though, not 100% sure why, I paused, smiled at her, then asked if she wanted to wear the whole outfit or just a piece or two of it. She told me that wearing the entire costume was very important. While she was putting the pieces together, I questioned why I had such odd feelings about letting her wear her “Pig in a Wig” costume to the appointment.
Was it because I thought it wasn’t appropriate? No, she’s a child, and even if she wasn’t, was wearing a costume that brought her so much joy inappropriate? Absolutely not!
Was it because she or someone else could be harmed by her wearing it …. ? Definitely nor!
After playing out various possibilities, I realized it was ME, my problem, and my insecurities. Nor my daughter’s, in the least. I struggle with “needing” to control what’s happening around me, needing routines, and doing what is “expected.”
At this moment, though, I couldn’t help but laugh at myself and how annoying those usual insecurities and anxieties in my head were. Here was a young girl so wildly proud of herself and her character from her concert the night before that she just wanted to spread that excitement and joy with more people.
When that dawned on me, I was proud of my daughter. I am actively trying to embrace her confidence, boldness, and pure funness for myself. I cannot promise I will never have more insecure control freak moments where I forget to sit and look at the big picture. Still, I will practice this more often than not and embrace the wonder in my wonderful children.
Sincerely- Mandie